So Sweet, yet So Confusing

Aku ga ngerti mesti tersanjung, sebel apa gimana....
Last day in Banjarmasin, aku dan mantanku telfon-telfonan, and we were having fun in our conversation, just like we're good old friends each other...
Terus, last day in Indonesia, kok ya aku malah nangis saking sakit hatinya sama ucapan dia... And I feel like, Thank God I'm leaving....
Dan.... dia tau-tau kirim sms, mau ketemu sebelum aku berangkat. Oke, dia ada di Yogya, aku berangkat dari Jakarta. I thought he was just joking... Tapi ternyata.... lima belas menit sebelum aku nyampe Cengkareng, he sent me a message, bilang kalo dia udah ada di Terminal Keberangkatan Internasional.
And there he was...
He told me that even though he was hurt, he still loves me...
Hm...
Aduh...
Mesti merasa gimana cobaaa.....???? So sweet, actually, maksudku, he was so impulsive, just decided to go to Jakarta straight from Jogja, just to see me for the last time....
Tapi yaaa....aduh, I was feeling sooooo guilty, actually....
I never meant to hurt him, but what I really want is just the feeling to be loved..the feeling to be appreciated...
Sometimes I feel that both of us speak in different kind of language...
Aduh, jadi sedih euuuyyyyy.....
Karena jujur saja, kalo ditanya aku masih sayang nggak sama dia, ya bingung juga mau jawab apa...
Hiks.
Let it flow aja kali yaaa...